Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize