im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
