I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I smell stomach acid.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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