well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
