If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
