Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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