hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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