why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
