Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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