Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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