she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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