So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am available for nakedness
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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