You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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