every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You are a genius and a whore.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
