yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
