mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize