She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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