I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
