i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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