he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my shit smells like andre
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize