I wanna passion pit in your ass
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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