all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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