she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Barsexuality is the new black.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
