Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
