I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
