he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize