so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
