i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize