Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
