My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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