Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize