the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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