i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize