I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
