He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
