I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
