I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
