i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
