wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
