I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
