Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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