hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
