She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
