Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
