Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
