hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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