you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
