dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
