I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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