her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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