He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
