and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Bring me that man meat
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
