How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
