I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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