dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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