nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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