yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
