Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
