Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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